Darkness
by annaPanag
Summary: An one-shot starting the night of Ashley's birthday party.


_Α__/__Ν__: Hello dear readers!_

_This short story came out completely differently than anything else I had written in this site._

_I enjoyed it immensely and I hope you will enjoy too._

_Review and let me know what you think!_

Darkness was all Scarlett could see, all she could feel as Rhett carried her upstairs. It was a weird darkness though, something she had never experienced before. It was warm and soft and wet, much like Rhett's lips on her own, much like his deep voice that mumbled ceaselessly in her hear. But Scarlett couldn't hear. Nothing could pass through the cell darkness was creating around her.

She wanted to yell, to cry out but she couldn't, her head was stifled between his arm and his chest. She squirmed and hit him with her little fists but he didn't seem to notice. He kept climbing with large strides two stair steps at a time and his whole body was shaking as if he was standing at strong wind.

Scarlett felt her heart hammering in her chest. It was as if the air around her was thickening, as if the darkness was consuming the air she needed to breathe. She tried to inhale once more but it was impossible, as Rhett's mouth was on hers once more.

Much like as he had threaten her the night she asked him to leave her bedroom, he kicked the door open, easily breaking the lock.

Scarlett was suffocating. For the first time in her life she thought she was going to die. Because for the first time in her life she was dealing with a superior enemy.

She couldn't beat Rhett. He was stronger, bigger. She couldn't break or bull him either. He was too smart for her. She was going to lose the battle, it was inevitable.

For the first time in her life Scarlett felt vulnerable. Her fate was completely in the hands of a stranger. A dangerous enemy.

Because she didn't recognize that Rhett. That mad man had nothing to do with her friend who used to escort her to her whereabouts around Atlanta in his carriage, or with the man who had promised her that marriage could be fan. For she had been happy for a while she now recognized, though she hadn't appreciated it back then.

Unfortunately, much like every other happiness in her life, it was abruptly vanished.

Why couldn't she find some peace and serenity in her life like everybody else?

Anger and despair like a tight ring gasped her heart. It was so unfair she thought and her complaint was sincere.

She wanted to cry and cry and cry, for all her misfortunes and the obstacles life had thrown in her way. She wanted to cry until all the pain had dried out.

Her eyes were full of tears but she agonizingly tried to compose herself.

Rhett mustn't see her like that. She was a fighter. She would never admit defeat.

She closed her eyes tightly, she bit her lips to stifle the sobs.

Amazingly enough her efforts seemed to work. She relaxed a bit, her heart beats were slowing down and she was able to breathe normally.

It was only then when she was able to feel Rhett's hands on her skin. He wasn't violent any more, his caresses were as tender as ever.

Her mind was full of memories of their honeymoon in New Orleans. Rhett kissing all over her body, just like he was doing now.

Yet, it wasn't the same. He was always so restrained back then, as if he was holding back. As if it was nothing more to him than fulfilling his marital duties.

Right now though, Scarlett was sure that all his barriers were down. Her strong feminine instinct wouldn't fail her. The real Rhett finally emerged. His hot breath on her skin, his soft lips on her mouth, his warm voice speaking of ineffable feelings.

He said he loved her.

Could this be true Scarlett wandered or it was only alcohol talking?

In the meantime Rhett had already got rid of her wrapper and he was kissing his way all along her body, from her mouth to her neck, between her breasts, her abdomen and lower, lower, lower. Suddenly Scarlett's mind stopped working. It was as if the whole world stood still. Her breathe caught at her throat once more, but for an entirely different reason. Rhett's ministrations were sending chills of excitement to her spine. She had never thought that it was possible to feel such a joy. It was if an explosion happened inside her and waves of satisfaction overwhelmed her. For once she was full and complete and happy. It was freeing and exhilarating.

A cry of joy escaped her lips before she was able to stop it. Her head was speeding, her heart was pounding in her chest and it felt heavenly. A lady should be appalled by such a behavior, a little voice in her mind reminded her, but suddenly she didn't give a damn. All the thoughts slipped from her treacherous mind but only one remained. She wanted more.

Not only his barriers but hers too were now down.

The sobs she was until now masterfully restraining were finally free. Her whole body was shaken by sobs and it was beyond her power to make them stop.

Rhett's body on the other hand, froze. With a trembling hand he forced her to look at him. But she was too embarrassed to meet his gaze, even in the relative darkness of her room. Because Scarlett only now was able to observe the environment around her too and she realized that her room wasn't as dark as the corridor. The curtains were left open and the light of the full moon just outside her window created an eerie atmosphere.

Scarlett eagerly averted her gaze and closed her eyes in order to hide her sudden tears. "Please Rhett," she mumbled and a new wave of sobs chocked her.

Through her blurred vision she saw Rhett withdrawing from her side. He got up and stumbled (Scarlett had never see him make any movement that wasn't gracious and confident). She searched for his eyes. Amazingly enough, he didn't look drunk anymore. He was fully alert, as if he was abruptly back to reality.

His mask of indifference was lost. Shock and embarrassment was written all over his puffy, pale face.

He bore his eyes into hers and Scarlett felt that for the first time he was regarding her as an equal human being.

"My love, I am sorry" he mumbled. So quietly that Scarlett wasn't sure she had heard correctly.

With that he turned his back to her and run towards the corridor and down the stairs as if all the demons of hell were after him.

"Rhett!" Scarlett wanted to yell, but her throat was dry and every sound was drown.

When she heard the door slamming behind him, Scarlett was sure she had just made the biggest mistake of her life.

Scarlett wasn't able to sleep that night. She laid still on her enormous bed desperately trying to figure out what exactly had happened. Rhett loved her or hatted her? She couldn't tell.

Her mind went back to the disastrous meeting at the mills. For some weird reason the memory was faded, as if it had happened a million years ago, in another lifetime, to another person. She couldn't recognize the girl who was anticipating Ashley's kiss as herself. Simply it didn't matter to her anymore.

What did matter though was Rhett's reaction. When he literally dragged her from her bed and forced her to attend Melly's party she was sure that he hatted her. But then he confessed that he loved her secretly for years. She hadn't believed him at first, but after their last encounter, she couldn't doubt him anymore. But then, why on earth did he abandoned her the moment she wanted and needed him the most?

Scarlett felt her confusion growing with every passing minute. She needed to see him, to force him to explain. They couldn't keep hiding behind their finger. What she knew for sure was the fact that Rhett wasn't the cynical indifferent man she was living with for all these years. No matter what he said, now she could be sure that she mattered to him. Suddenly she felt the need to learn more about that mysterious, passionate man. Her husband and the father of her daughter. She closed her eyes and tried to catch some sleep. Tomorrow she mused and with that comforting thought she fell asleep.

The next morning Scarlett luxuriated her morning toilette. And she shocked Mammy when she declared with a wide smile, that she didn't want her breakfast in bed as usual, but she was going to accompany her husband and children who always took their breakfast together at the nursery. The wide smile literally fell from her face when Mammy informed her that her husband hadn't returned yet and that the children were eating alone.

Scarlett didn't took breakfast that day. After Mammy's revelations she stormed to the nursery but she was forced to furiously abandon it hardly five minutes later because she couldn't stand the children's constant whining about when "daddy" was coming home.

Her store was her last sanctuary, so she decided to go there and organize her counter attack. She had to show Rhett Butler that he couldn't play with her, he couldn't use her like any of his Belle's girls and leave her without even a goodbye. Deep down she hoped that her husband would visit her there in order to give his explanations away from the children and the servants. It made perfect sense! He used to do that a lot. He often visited her at the office before their marriage, always bringing little gifts with him. So she spent the whole day staring at the front door, pretending that she was checking the ledgers, in reality just waiting for Rhett to show up. But he never came.

By the afternoon she was utterly disappointed and angry with her husband's indifference and she was eager to give a piece of her mind during the dinner. When she saw his place at the table empty, for the first time in the three years they were married, her fury and disappointment started to gradually turn into worry. Rhett had never stayed so many hours away from his baby daughter. Where was he all these hours? What if something bad happened to him? He was drunk when he left the house, what if he laid helpless at some dark corner of Atlanta? She shouldn't let him leave in such a state, she would never forgive herself, she desperately bemused.

With a heavy heart and heavy footsteps she returned to her room, although she knew that sleep wouldn't claim her. She didn't even lay to her bed. She couldn't spent another minute on that bed alone, and if something terrible had happened to Rhett she was sure she wouldn't be able to even lay eyes on that bed again. So she curled herself on the armchair, in vain starring at the front gate through her bedroom window, praying for her husband to show up.

At some point she had must had fallen to a slumber when she heard something. Heavy footsteps climbing the stairs.

Rhett, her mind yelled and she jumped up.

For a moment she feared that she was just dreaming, that her mind played nasty tricks on her, but instantly she heard the same heavy steps at the corridor.

It was indeed Rhett. She could recognize his footsteps among thousand others.

Hastily she put on her wrapper and opened her door to go and find him in his room. She prayed that he would be sober, that they would be able to talk, really talk, honestly, as normal human beings. He couldn't fool her with his jabs anymore. His contact the last night before proved how much he cared.

She stormed to the corridor but she stopped dead in her tracks, for she found Rhett there in front of her bedroom door. He was sitting on the floor a bottle of whiskey in one hand, a cigar on the other.

There was no doubt he was drunk. As much drunk as he was last night, perhaps worse.

No talking tonight Scarlett thought and shivered.

Not that she was appalled or frightened by the sight of a drunken man.

Men got drunk, she was used to it since she was a little girl at Tara. Gerald got drunk every other day.

But Gerald's condition had nothing to do with Rhett's. When Gerald drunk he was happy, he was singing and laughing and his only concern was to keep it secret of his wife who didn't approve because he didn't want to upset her. There was nothing happy on Rhett. Rhett was broken, devastated. He didn't drink to have fun, he drunk to forget.

Scarlett recognized the feeling almost immediately. Shame.

Rhett was ashamed. He felt exactly as Scarlett had felt when she met Melly earlier in the afternoon. She was worried because Scarlett hadn't showed up for their weekly meeting with the sewing circle and she paid her a visit to check for her well-being. Scarlett tried to give some explanations, but Melly was adamant. She would hear nothing. She refused to let some scoundrels to contaminate what they shared. They were friends, they were family, and nothing could ever come between them. Scarlett that moment felt she wanted to die. She realized she could never reveal the truth to Melly and upset her. She was too innocent, too loving. She would have to live with her regrets forever.

Scarlett understood her husband, at least partly. It was the first time she was able to feel someone's heart. She knew how hard it must have been for a man that he was so strong and so proud as Rhett to accept and admit that he was wrong. She knew because it was exactly how she felt too.

Scarlett felt sorry for him. But the feeling wasn't accompanied by pity, as usual. She didn't pity Rhett. She admired him. His strength, his courage, his honor. She understood now that Rhett was a man of honor. Not in the way the Old Guard or Ashley used the term but in his own way, and in every way it really mattered.

"Hello Mrs. Butler," Rhett said, "I am sorry if my vulgar presence agitates this humble residency's peace." He tried to get up but failed miserably.

Scarlett felt her ire flaring but she knew enough of alcohol talking to ignore his bait.

She went near him and put her hands on his arm.

"Let's take you to your bed, Rhett. You need to sleep," she said with a soft voice and dragged his arm to persuade him to get up.

Her only purpose was to sooth him, but Rhett misinterpret her words once more. He chuckled.

"My bedroom, your bedroom. What a respectful charade our life had turned out to be," he left a bitter laugh and released himself from her gasp. He stared at her.

His gaze travelled from her mouth to her white breasts which now were covered only by her nightdress, since her wrapper was left open in her effort to lift him up, without her realizing it before it was too late.

She turned crimson and tried to cover herself.

Abruptly he got up and cornered her between his arms and the wall. "No Scarlett, I won't go to my room. I am not going to set foot in that room again. I hate it."

Her bewildered look seemed to outrange him even more. "Come on Scarlett, don't act so surprised! It's your room, our room or nothing! But don't fret my dear, I am not going to compromise your inner sanctuary again" he chuckled ironically, his lips barely an inch away from hers. His mustache tickled her. "You see, I can't be in our room, because I have to force myself to you in order to let me in and apparently I am incapable to do that either. I love you too much to do it to you." He mumbled, more to himself than to her, as if he was thinking loudly.

Scarlett was overwhelmed by his presence so near her once more. His words were caressing her skin and she was ready to tell him that there was no reason to force her, that he was more than welcome in their room, but his next phrase made her blood freeze. Her worst fears proved to be correct.

" And I can't be with you, but I can't be without you either. I thought of killing myself, it would be an easy way to set myself free of your clutches but I can't do that either, I am not such a big coward yet."

Scarlett went mad. The familiar from the night before feeling of panic overwhelmed her once more. She squirmed and hit his chest with her fists. "You fool," she yelled, "You idiot! Do you know how frightened I was all day? I was terrified, I was afraid that something terrible must happened to you, that I could never forgive myself. How would I ever live without you? And you are coming here to tell me it would be a too easy way to get rid of me! Get away, I don't want to lay eyes on you again!" She was yelling and she felt she was about to faint. It had happened to her only once before, in that jail cell, with Rhett, but she remembered it with amazing clarity. She clenched his shirt for support but her knees were bending.

The same memory must had crossed Rhett's mind too. He lifted in his arms and guided her to her room. As tenderly as possible he laid her on the bed. He sat on his knees, his face next to hers, holding tightly her hand. "I am sorry," he whispered, "I didn't want to hurt you again. I just never thought you mind, my death would make you a very wealthy widow" his eyes bored to hers with a profound intensity.

"You are such a fool," Scarlett said again with such a tender voice that in Rhett's ears it sounded almost like a declaration of love. "I don't want your money. I hate your money! I want you, I always wanted you, only you," She was sobbing now and she tried to avoid his intense gaze. But Rhett wouldn't let her. He grabbed her face with both hands, his thumbs caressing the lines of her face as if he was trying to memorize it, to keep it in his mind forever.

"My love," he mumbled and he leaned in and left a light kiss on her lips. Scarlett was taken aback. She wasn't used to such an open display of emotions by her husband. His lips barely touched hers, but Scarlett wouldn't let the opportunity go amiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck and drugged him towards her and towards the bed. Rhett didn't need further encouragement. Instantly he was on top of her kissing wherever she could be kissed, touching her wherever she could be touched. "You haven't hurt me, you never hurt me, I don't want you to leave, stay, please stay" Scarlett mumbled again and again. A heavy moan full of pain and anticipation and relief was the only response Rhett uttered. But he intensified his efforts to please her. His fervent kisses, his passion erased any other thought. Her mind ceased working, she was only feeling. And it was wonderful.

This time Scarlett wasn't surprised when she felt the same all -consuming maddening sensation of satisfaction. Again and again and again. And when they reached their climax together, their bodies perfectly entangled, she could tell that her husband was feeling exactly the same. Exhausted by fatigue but satisfied and content they fell asleep in each other's arms.

Scarlett woke up in the crack of dawn. Instantly she stressed her hand to feel her husband's warm body beside her. She had missed waking up in his arms. But her hand touched nothing but frozen soft linen.

Her sudden agony drove the last remnants of sleepiness from her eyelashes. She sat up and her eyes searched for her husband. He wasn't there.

Utter disappointment filled her heart. She had let herself hope that something had changed in their relationship during those last two nights. How could he leave her again after all these that they had shared?

But then she noticed that the French doors ware left ajar. Rhett was at the balcony she realized and she left the breath she was holding with relief.

She knew that the moment she feared and in the same time anticipating for since he confessed his love for her, was here. Their first normal conversation as husband and wife.

Her heart was hammering, her stomach was a tight knot and her head was speeding but she knew she had to talk to him, to explain to him about the misunderstanding at the mills. Now, there was no doubt in her that he cared deeply for her and that he loved her, but yet she longed to hear it again, from a sober Rhett this time.

She tiptoed and stood at the doorway, half inside the room, half outside. Rhett was sitting on an armchair, smoking. He was so deep in his thoughts that he didn't notice her.

"I thought you left" she pouted and rested her hand on his shoulder.

Her touch broke Rhett's reveries. He turned towards her and took her hand in his. He left a fervent kiss on her palm.

Such a simple movement, but it brought chills of excitement to her spine.

"I hope I didn't woke you up" he said

She nodded, no.

"We have to talk" They said in perfect unison and they smiled.

It would be nice if they agreed on something for once, but this was too much. The irony of the situation wasn't lost on neither of them.

"Oh, Rhett, let me explain," Scarlett rushed to explain. "It was nothing but a silly misunderstanding. Ashley and me…" she starting talking but Rhett stopped her rather abruptly. "I don't want to talk about your honorable gentleman," he said and his voice sounded more harsh and cold than intended.

Scarlett was taken aback. Sudden tears filled her eyes. She shivered and she knew it had nothing to do with the pleasant cool spring breeze that now was blowing at the balcony. She took a few steps away from him and turned her back to him. If he didn't believe her, she couldn't stand it, she desperately thought and swept her eyes with the back of her hand. She still didn't want him to see her in her moments of weakness.

But she should be aware of the fact that it was no use to try to hide her feelings from Rhett. It was no use. He always found out! Instantly, he was behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Come on here," he said, "You will catch your death of cold."

Scarlett knew she couldn't resist and relaxed in his arms. He sat back at his armchair, with her in his lap and wrapped both of them in his robe.

Scarlett recognized the robe instantly. It was her gift, the only gift she bought for him during their honeymoon in New Orleans. When two years ago, he removed his things from their bedroom to his, he had left that item behind. He never claimed it but she didn't threw it away either. It remained always at its place at the hanger next to the door, as if it waited for its owner to return.

A new wave of remorse filled Scarlett's mind. "I am so sorry, Rhett, I was such a fool, you were right I was crying for the damn moon!" she pouted but he put his finger on her lips to stop her.

Then he started talking, better whispering, in her ear. Scarlett couldn't see his face, but she didn't doubt, not for a moment the sincerity of his words. She could understand. He didn't want to be seen in a moment of weakness, too.

"Do you know how it feels like Scarlett? To be in love with a woman who is in love with another man? For ten long years I loved you and I waited and waited and waited. To give me sign, a tiny hope that not everything was lost. I tried everything I knew, if you had met me halfway, I would have fallen on my knees and kissed your feet. But you never did. I was desperate, I believe I started losing my mind. And when Archie came, with a smug smile on his face I think I lost the last bit of control I had on my actions. It was like the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. And suddenly yesterday, when I thought that everything was lost that I had managed to turn everything good you had in you for me, friendship or fondness as you like to call it, into hatred, you decided to give me everything I had dreamed, everything I hoped for, and more".

"I don't hate you Rhett" she was eager to reassure him.

"I know you don't Scarlett, you proved that to me last night. But perhaps you should. I almost forced myself to you, I hurt you. And only God knows what else I might have done if your desperate sobbing hadn't brought me back to my senses."

A light lit in Scarlett's mind. That was the reason why he left so abruptly. "No darling, you are wrong, terribly wrong. I wasn't sad, I had never been so happy in my life before" she was trying to explain but her words sounded lame even to her own ears. How could she make him understand that it was impossible for her to hate him? The answer formed instantly in her mind and serenity spread inside her. She was calm and confident now.

"Could you ever hate me Rhett?" she asked and bored her eyes in his. She wanted him to read her like an open book now, as he was always able to do. Her eyes would reveal much more than any words could.

He shook his head, "No, no matter what, you are part of me Scarlett. Hating you would mean hating myself too."

"How could you ever thought that I could hate you then?" she asked. The fire Scarlett saw burning her husband's eyes, a blindly bright version of the tiny flame Scarlett had seen in his eyes numerous times before their wedding and almost never again, took her breath away. He had believed her, she was sure now. She felt her heart swelling with happiness.

Rhett gave her one of his half smiles. "We are both doomed then. Heaven help us both" he said and before Scarlett was able to understand when or how or why he was kissing her again, and his kisses were hard and demanding and all consuming.

She took his large hand in hers and held it tightly. "Let's go back to our room Rhett" she said with a tender, shy smile.

And he was more than happy to comply.


End file.
